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Most people think the popular hook-up app that gay men love to hate is just about sex. But for a lot of guys, Grindr is all about being masculine. In the wider world, gayness is still often measured by how effeminate you are, how strong your lisp is or how many Cher albums you own.

As opposed to, say, how much you like fucking guys. To be masc, you need the muscled gym bod, the low gruff voice, and excessive body hair. And if you want to be fem-shamed, Grindr is the place to go.

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As many others in the gay community have no doubt experienced, getting called a sissy twink is a pretty daily occurrence. While recently cruising Grindr late one night, I got into a heated conversation with yet another headless torso—the profile pic of choice on the app. We had very different views on the whole cult of masculinity that subsumes many men within the gay community.

Torso was convinced masc meant top the partner who gives during anal sex and feminine meant bottom the partner who receives. Realising I was getting nowhere, I blocked the gay torso. But the anger of the conversation festered as I stewed over the whole obsession of being masc. I wanted to test out his claim: that masculinity reads better on Grindr.

Is it really the cock prized quality found in another gay male in the queer community? I decided to try gay month-long experiment of playing masc. I mean, how hard could it be? I just had to change everything about myself. Chatting to masc cocks on Grindr is as fun as sitting in a cold bath. Image supplied. Then I snapped a couple of selfies in my new masc pic, glaring stone faced at the camera.

I felt like an pic but soon enough, the messages flooded in. Men of all ages wanted to chat, to fuck, to just talk, to exchange pics. It was this bizarre turnaround that saw me, a lonesome bookish wallflower, wading through the headless torsos, welcomed into the realm of the masc gay male.

I quickly picked up the vocab that seemed to go with the territory. I found the more distant and rude I was during conversations, the more masc guys were attracted to me. But then again, most of the men hitting on me were middle-aged white guys with muscled bodies and inflated egos, who thought grilling me on what protein powders I use and what dance music I listen to equated to flirting.

Screenshot by author. The straight-acting masc world of Grindr was an exciting but ultimately alienating world. But the men I met there were aggressive, unapologetic, and blunt.